75_You shall not commit adultery

Ex 20:14 “You shall not commit adultery.

A veteran carpenter was crafting a beautiful dining table as a wedding anniversary gift for his daughter and her husband. He used rare and costly wood, and put in months of painstaking effort to bring out its beauty in every detail. When the table was finally complete, it became the centerpiece of their home—a tribute to his love and dedication. After some months, he visited them. He found the table covered with an old sheet. Lifting it, he saw that the surface was scratched and stained. Its beauty was marred by carelessness and neglect. Heartbroken, he said, “It was meant to last generations, but it wasn’t cared for.”

This story mirrors God’s design for marriage—a holy and intentional union crafted with love, meant to reflect God’s glorious love for his people. When we fail to honor and nurture this precious gift, the consequences are devastating for families and for human society.

In the beginning, God looked at his creation and declared it good. Since it was not good for man to be alone, he created a partner comparable and complementary to him, yet unlike him. No suitable companion was found for Adam among the animals, even though pets offer solace to the lonely today through their presence to listen, without criticism or advice. Instead, God’s plan was that the woman would complete and strengthen the man. When he fashioned Eve and brought her to Adam, the man was overwhelmed with joy. Seeing Eve, Adam broke into the Bible’s first recorded song:
“This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man.”

In this union, God established marriage, a covenantal, lifelong, all-encompassing relationship between a man and a woman. Genesis 2:24 declares, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Matthew 19:6 reaffirms this: “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Marriage is God’s design and work—a relationship of immense value, created to be held in honor and holiness. Hebrews 13:4 exhorts, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

Because of the fundamental importance of marriage, it has been under attack since the fall of humanity. When sin entered the world, Adam, who once rejoiced over Eve, turned on her, saying, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” (Genesis 3:12). Instead of being together in serving God, they cooperated in sin and were hurled apart ever after. From that moment, the enemy has sought to corrupt and destroy God’s design for marriage.

God created humans with natural needs—hunger, thirst, the desire for love and companionship, and the longing for physical pleasure. These needs are legitimate, and God’s creation is designed to fill each one. The temptation is to meet these needs independent of God’s will.

In the wilderness, after a 40-day fast, the devil urged the Lord to turn stones into bread and satisfy his hunger. The temptation lay in doing what was in his power and seemed reasonable, but was not commanded by God. We are spiritual beings. Our survival depends on the spiritual food of doing the will of God. The Lord’s response was scriptural: “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” (Matthew 4:4).

David, in contrast, fell into this temptation. When he saw Bathsheba, he desired her, knowing she was not for him. Instead of pursuing godliness, he fulfilled his lust. He chose to live by this earthly bread rather than by the sustaining power of doing God’s will. The results were devastating. He ordered her husband’s death, though he was a loyal soldier. Three of David’s sons died, and his family was fractured. Sin, once conceived, breeds destruction.

Infidelity, pornography, and lustful thoughts are rampant and normal in today’s culture. Yet they are eroding the foundations of society by breaking down marital trust. Physical closeness and enjoyment is a gift to husband and wife that finds its fulfilment within marriage. It is designed to express love, respect, and unity. Perverted to yield animal pleasure without honor and commitment, it breaks down families and societies. The Lord warned sternly, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28). Adultery begins with lust in the heart. The Lord urges us to guard our hearts against lust by dealing radically with such thoughts. The cost of not doing so is eternal separation from God.

Adultery often stems from discontentment, growing out of selfishness. One or both partners want to have their wishes and plans fulfilled, at the cost of God’s purpose in marriage. Many people even expect their spouses to be perfect and to cater to all their needs. They do not pause to wonder how far their own behavior to their spouses meets these standards. Neither do they stop to enquire of the Lord, to find his purpose in their marriage.

While it is natural to expect much from marriage, its ultimate purpose transcends personal fulfillment. Ephesians 5 reveals that earthly marriage is a mystery, a hidden revelation of Christ’s love for his church, his people. In this divine metaphor, the husband is called the head, just as Christ is his head and he submits to Christ. He is instructed to love his wife with all that he has, as Christ loved the church. The wife not only receives her husband’s love with gratitude, but submits to her head, as the church submits to Christ her Lord. Yet she is also her husband’s glory and his fulness, just as the church is the fullness of him who fills all in all. When a husband and wife live out this calling, their marriage becomes a testimony of God’s love and an instrument of his purposes.

Malachi 2:13-16 rebukes the people for unfaithfulness in marriage: “The Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.” God designed marriage to reflect his covenantal faithfulness and produce godly offspring. Our marital vows reflect his unchanging commitment to his people. Let us learn from Him and be unshakably faithful in our marriages.

Numerous temptations threaten the institution of marriage today. Let us guard our hearts. Proverbs 4:23 advises, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” Let us reject the counsel and companionship of people who do not honor marriage, for like leaven, it will lead our thinking astray. Let us, instead, focus on understanding God’s counsel, rather than being guided by human advice. Let us love our spouses with kindness and tender forgiveness.

Secondly, let us be content and grateful in our marriages, as far as possible. Let us acknowledge God’s sovereignty in our marriage choices. Let us rest in his sovereignty and goodness, and trustfully follow his marriage instructions. Let us humbly recognize that we ourselves are not great bargains either. Let us focus on meeting the needs of the other, in love and benevolence.

Finally, let us always pray for our spouses, that God may fill us with his peace. Let us pray that he may protect our marriages against the enemy’s wiles.

Marriage is not merely a human institution; it is a divine calling. When we honor our vows, we reflect God’s glorious faithfulness in our relationships and honor him. Conversely, the choice not to persevere in marriage casts doubt on God’s long-suffering and loving kindness. As Malachi warns, faithlessness in marriage is an act of spiritual violence and invites judgment. Failure need not signal doom, however. It can break down the individual in humility, to come to God and receive his forgiveness and restoration in marriage as in everything else.

For anyone waiting for marriage, let us honor God’s design for marriage by cultivating a deep devotion and obedience in all things to Christ. It is essential to prayerfully seek in marriage a relationship that will strengthen your commitment to Christ.

Like the classic dining table, marriage requires care and maintenance. When we honor it as the precious gift it is, we experience the joy and beauty God intended. But when neglected or defiled, the scars may remain, reminding us of the consequences of sin.

Let us, by God’s grace, honor and value marriage, not out of self-righteous legalism but from love for God who has married us to himself. In doing so, we reflect the faithfulness of Christ to his Church, his love that is steadfast, sacrificial, and eternal. God bless.