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Jan 31 A dysfunctional family

January 31

31_A dysfunctional family

Gen 37:Jacob lived in the land of his father’s sojournings, in the land of Canaan.

2 These are the generations of Jacob.

Joseph, being seventeen years old, was pasturing the flock with his brothers. He was a boy with the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father’s wives. And Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father. 3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his sons, because he was the son of his old age. And he made him a robe of many colors. 4 But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peacefully to him.

23 So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe, the robe of many colors that he wore. 24 And they took him and threw him into a pit. The pit was empty; there was no water in it.

25 Then they sat down to eat. And looking up they saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead, with their camels bearing gum, balm, and myrrh, on their way to carry it down to Egypt. 26 Then Judah said to his brothers, “What profit is it if we kill our brother and conceal his blood? 27 Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and let not our hand be upon him, for he is our brother, our own flesh.” And his brothers listened to him. 28 Then Midianite traders passed by. And they drew Joseph up and lifted him out of the pit, and sold him to the Ishmaelites for twenty shekels of silver. They took Joseph to Egypt.

Gen 42:21 Then they said to one another, “Truly we are guilty concerning our brother, because we saw the distress of his soul when he pleaded with us, yet we would not listen; for that reason, this distress has happened to us.”

In the heart of a quiet forest, a tribal chief named Seattle once stood before settlers who sought to buy the land his people had cherished for centuries. His words echoed with wisdom: “How can you buy or sell the sky, the earth? This idea is strange to us. If we do not own the purity of the air or the sparkle of the water, how can you buy them?” This is the right way to view our enjoyment of God’s free gifts. The Creator gives rain and sun and air and earth to the righteous and the wicked alike. Yet, human beings often manipulate the right to enjoy these blessings. They use them to buy or show favor and fuel selfish ambition, and to divide people into classes and sects. This tendency doesn’t just corrupt our societies. It can reach deep into the innermost spaces of our lives—our families.

Jacob’s family was no exception. His deep love for Joseph, the first son born to his beloved wife Rachel, became the root of division and despair. It led to jealousy among Joseph’s brothers and to tragedy. To be fair, the seeds of dysfunction had been sown long ago. Jacob’s father, Isaac, had favored his firstborn son Esau, while his mother, Rebekah, favored his younger son. This favoritism had fractured their family, leading to deceit, estrangement, and sorrow.

Jacob’s own experiences with favoritism should have been a warning. Yet Jacob repeated the same mistake with his sons, loving Joseph more than his other children. Favoritism destroys family unity. It breeds resentment, envy, and bitterness. The New Testament declares six times that God does not show favoritism. Our Heavenly Father treats all his children with impartiality and love, making this the unquestioned pattern for every relationship and every family.

Joseph, the recipient of Jacob’s favor, received dreams early in life. These dreams revealed his future greatness. Hinting at God’s purpose and his destiny, irrespective of his present capacity or gifts, they were not meant to puff him up with pride. Rather, they were intended to strengthen and sustain him through the trials ahead.

Despite his favored position, Joseph displayed humility and obedience. He willingly sought out his brothers in the wilderness in order to serve them, though it required effort and risk. He took no steps to fulfill the dreams by himself. He trusted God’s timing without selfish ambition. He did not chase his dreams. Rather, he trusted the one who gave them.

In contrast, Joseph’s brothers reflect the darker tendencies of the human heart. Their resentment and jealousy festered into hatred. Envy, as old as the story of Cain and Abel, consumed them. Envy doesn’t just desire what others have; it resents their very blessings. It blinds us to the blessings given by the Giver of all good things. It poisons our hearts against those we should love.

The brothers plotted to kill Joseph, saying, “We’ll see what becomes of his dreams.” They failed to recognize that Joseph’s dreams were not self-made but God-ordained. Their rebellion was not against Joseph but against God Himself. How often do we act similarly! We resent and oppose God’s work in the lives of others because it threatens our sense of worth or position.

Having cast him into the pit, they cruelly sat down to eat their meal. They ignored his cries for mercy, eating as if nothing had happened. Their callousness forced them into a lifelong struggle with guilt. Years later, when faced with severe trials in Egypt, they couldn’t escape the memories of their betrayal.

Sin doesn’t just harm its victims; it ensnares the sinner. The brothers had to devise and tell lies about Joseph’s fate to cover up their wicked deed. They deceived their father with the bloodied coat of many colors. In this way, Jacob was again repaid with deceit for the way he himself had cheated his father years earlier, when he disguised himself as Esau to steal his father’s blessing. God’s justice is often poetic; the measure we use to others is measured back to us.

Jacob’s response to the loss of Joseph was despair. Despite God’s promises to him and the prophetic dreams given to Joseph, Jacob saw only darkness. His grief consumed him, and he refused to be comforted. In hindsight it is plain that through these grievous experiences, God’s purposes were unfolding. Joseph’s journey to Egypt was part of a greater plan to save his family and many others.

In our darkest moments, we must cling to God’s promises. Proverbs 14:32 reminds us, “The wicked is driven away in his wickedness: but the righteous hath hope in his death.” God’s plans are never thwarted by human sin.

“Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take:
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
With blessing on your head.”

Joseph’s life teaches us that God’s ways are higher than our ways. Despite our sorrow and disappointment, we will inevitably find that His plans far exceed anything we could imagine.

vAs for Jacob’s family, their dysfunction was not the end of the story. God’s grace transformed their brokenness. Through years of separation and suffering, Joseph’s brothers came to repentance. When they finally stood before Joseph in Egypt, their hearts were softened, and reconciliation became possible. God specializes in turning what the enemy meant for evil into good for those who love him.

Today, many families struggle with the same issues that plagued Jacob’s household: favoritism, envy, deceit, and unresolved guilt. These patterns can feel insurmountable, but the gospel offers hope. Through Christ, we have access to God’s presence. Through the Spirit who is given to us, we rejoice in the knowledge and the experience of being loved by God. We have hope in the deepest grief, because we are loved by God Almighty. We can love and forgive with impartiality and sincerity. aWe can break the chains of sin.

Let us examine our own hearts and homes. Are there seeds of favoritism or envy that need to be uprooted? Are there broken relationships that need healing? God’s grace is sufficient to renew the most dysfunctional families. He calls us to humility, repentance, and faith.

Let us, like Joseph, trust in God and his promises even when life takes seemingly cruel and unexpected turns. If God plants dreams in our heart, let them assure us of his purposes rather than making them our focus in life. Let us learn from Jacob’s mistakes and choose to walk in God’s ways. Let us work under the leading of the Spirit to ensure that our families become places where God abides, where he is at home. In our homes, let sincere love be evident, let God’s truth be upheld, and let His peace reign. Let us cling to him in love and obedience. Let his work be perfected in us as we trust and persevere in our walk with him.

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January 31