696_Love that does not rush (Song of Songs 2:7)
Song of Songs 2:7 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
by the gazelles or the does of the field,
that you not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases.
A master violin maker had spent months crafting a beautiful instrument. A young apprentice, impatient to hear its music, kept asking why the master delayed finishing it. The wood was polished, the strings were in place, and everything looked ready. But the master replied, “If I tighten the strings too quickly, they will snap. The violin must learn to bear the tension before it can produce music.” Careful adjusting after waiting was necessary for the violin to finally release its rich and beautiful sound.
In today’s world, the strings are often tightened too rapidly. Relationships are often built on instant attraction, emotions, outward appearance, and excitement. People are encouraged to follow their hearts as if their hearts always provide the right guidance. Yet the Bible repeatedly shows us that genuine love matures slowly. It cannot be manipulated, rushed, or artificially sustained. Hence the repeated warning in the Song of Songs: “Do not arouse or awaken love until it pleases” (Song of Songs 2:7).
We are not to suppress love but to protect it. The Shulammite woman had discovered real love, which was not merely an emotional spark. Its roots grow much deeper than feelings, enabling it to grow in truth, faith, patience, and surrender.
The Shulammite in the Song of Songs first speaks of her dark complexion and the reason; we immediately notice her honesty. She says, “I am very dark, but lovely” in Song of Songs 1:5. She speaks of working under the hot sun because of the demands of her brothers. She does not present herself as glamorous or impressive. In fact, she is deeply aware of her own unworthiness. Yet she is willing to respond to the love extended toward her.
Love never loves a lie. Genuine love starts with truth. It does not hide uncomfortable facts. In modern culture, people often think they should ignore warning signs or difficult truths as long as the emotions feel strong. But Scripture tells us how love looks honestly at character, calling, conviction, and spiritual direction.
Genesis 24 describes how Abraham sends his trusted servant to find a bride for Isaac. Abraham carefully lays out the facts before his servant. God had called him out of his homeland and promised to make him a great nation. Isaac must remain in the land of God’s calling. Therefore, the future bride must be willing to leave her family and join Isaac where God had placed him.
The central issue was not romance, but whether she could walk together with Isaac in God’s purpose.
A man and woman seeking marriage should primarily ask whether the other person will walk with them in obedience to God. Before attraction, before excitement, before compatibility in hobbies or personality, there is a more important question: Does this person love Christ? Is he walking in submission to His will? Can we pursue God’s calling together?
Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” Love built only on attraction struggles to survive hardship. But love rooted in shared commitment to God goes deep to the indestructible rock.
Coming back to Rebekah’s story, we see how she responds simply, “I will go” in Genesis 24:58. She had never seen Isaac. Yet she was willing to trust God who was leading this journey. Similarly, we see how the Shulamite follows up her words of love with faith.
The Shulammite believed that her beloved truly loved her. Despite her fears and insecurities, she trusted his character. Even when he seemed absent, she held onto confidence in his love.
This trust and longing echo throughout the Song. She says in Song of Songs 3:1, “On my bed by night I sought him whom my soul loves.” Song of Songs 5:6 describes her search for him. Her love is not shallow excitement. It is tested through waiting, longing, and uncertainty.
Faith is always necessary in love. Abraham believed God would provide the right bride. The servant believed God would guide him. Rebekah believed she was following God’s plan. Isaac trusted the Lord’s provision without knowing what it would look like. Among God’s people, love trusts God rather than forcing outcomes.
In an age of instant gratification we are used to immediate answers, immediate fulfillment. Waiting feels uncomfortable. Silence feels threatening. Yet God uses them to develop our love.
Sometimes we want to rouse love in someone else. We may be afraid of loneliness, afraid of missing out, or afraid that God’s way will end in us missing the best. But faith waits with confidence that God is wise and good.
Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”
Beyond marriage, in our relationship with Christ we try to force spiritual experiences, mistaking feelings of closeness for actual devotion to God. Our relationship with God is not, however, sustained on emotional highs. It is sustained by the truth of His character and the certainty of His promises. Romans 5:8 says, “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Christ’s love was no fleeting feeling. It was sacrificial, covenantal love.
The Song of Songs is filled with beautiful expressions of affection and longing. The Shulammite says, “My beloved is mine, and I am his” in Song of Songs 2:16. Again she says in Song of Songs 1:2, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine.”
Solomon too expresses delight in her beauty and presence throughout the songs. Scripture does not condemn affection or emotional love, both created by God. But emotions are dangerous when we build on them rather than on the truth. They are the fruit, not the foundation of commitment.
Thus Genesis 24:67 tells us, “Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her.” Notice the order. First covenant, then the flourishing of affection. Love deepened within faithfulness.
However, we often put feelings first, making impulsive decisions, ignoring truth. Immature love seeks excitement without responsibility. It ignores warning signs. It demands immediate satisfaction. But scriptural love follows a wise pattern: facts, faith, feelings.
First, truth. Who is this person before God? What direction is their life moving in? Are we united in Christ?
Second, faith. Can I trust God’s leading without manipulating the situation? Am I willing to wait? Am I open before God?
Third, feelings. As love matures within truth and faith, affection deepens naturally and beautifully.
And therefore the Shulammite can say with confidence, “My beloved is mine, and I am his.” This is not possessiveness but secure covenant love.
Waiting often feels painful, but it develops trust, endurance, and discernment, and deeper affection. Like the violin strings, the heart must slowly bear the tension of patience before it can produce the melody of genuine love.
In our walk with God, we sometimes look for constant experiences and excitement, neglecting the steady obedience of commitment. But love for Christ matures through faithfulness on ordinary days. 2 Corinthians 11:2-3 expresses this: “For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ.”
We may be led away from sincere devotion by appeals to our impatience, feelings, or immediate gratification. But Christ calls us into steadfast love rooted in truth. The love of God is everlasting. Jeremiah 31:3 declares, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.”
The promises of God never fail. Our hope in Christ is unwavering in adversity, carrying us beyond the grave to resurrection and eternal life with him.
When we are waiting for clarity, direction, a feeling of nearness to God, let us not despise the waiting. Let us not awaken love before its time. Let truth guide us, faith sustain us, and feelings come in their rightful place.
The greatest love story is not about Solomon and the Shulamite. It is between Christ and His people. He calls us into covenant love, teaching us to trust Him amid uncertainty. One day the waiting will end. Faith will become sight. The Bridegroom will come for His bride.
Until then, let us learn the beauty of patient, mature, and steadfast love — love that does not rush ahead of God, that rests in truth, and remains faithful even when met with silence. God bless.